The Friday Poetry Thread

The Demport full 'o' dumbo's,
The Barn Park full 'o' shite,
Let's tear 'em a new one,
And go on the beer all night.

Fore Four Two, or Fore Three Three,
It doesn't really matter
Cos I comes from the Westcountry
and I can drive a tractor fore shore

AstiSpumante wrote:

The Demport full 'o' dumbo's,
The Barn Park full 'o' shite,
Let's tear 'em a new one,
And go on the beer all night.

  

If you seen Peggy with a broom
She will be sweeping the kids room
Not a word about ijn and his herd
Because he a big fat turd

It's a bank holiday, oh what to do
Sink a few cold ones in muffs Fortescue
No home game for argo, no mates out tonight
My brand new tattoo is just hurting like shite

Tomorrow is Saturday, that's usually better
The weather is good now but not getting better
Sunday is walk day, on moors with my doggy
Let's hope it's good news, not raining and foggy

Monday comes soon and it's right back to work
My new boss fat Steve is a cnut fisting jerk
It's only a job but the money is good
My boss hates me too but I'm misunderstood

I may ATD it a couple of nights
Sorting out bitching and sycophant shites
Shit stirring, trolling, big porky pies
Tell me I'm worthy,look into my eyes

Just got done for sixty notes,
By those facking council scrotes,
Driving out to catch the plane,
Embankment Road strikes again!

In a bus lane at 5 AM,
I facking won't do that again,
Missed the signs,
Took the hit,
Plymouth Council you are shit.

My faithful old mixer it died today, three hundred quid from Jewson for a new one they say, its only money i said through the sobs.but fvck it,i'll pop out to Totnes and borrow fat Bobs.

For a new mixer,
To replace the brok'un,
I would ask at Brandons,
And I ain't jokin.

Reading today's prose has made my day,

But the Cyprus heat just needs to go away !

Got thinking whilst chillin in my air conditioned sanctuary,

Who'd be daft enough to drive to Bury n back on a Saturdee ? !

Iggy wrote:

For a new mixer,
To replace the brok'un,
I would ask at Brandons,
And I ain't jokin.

Brandon's, i will go at first light, hoping and praying the price is not shite.

There was a fat fooker called Pie
Who looked dapper in his fine Windsor tie
Whirling his Argo shirt aloft
With 'Pie Face' embossed
He sacked off Brent ala William Bligh

Bored bored bored
I should of gone t'pub
Tv's shite, it's Friday night
I'm off to order grub

KFC or Indian
Chinese sweet and sour
I could watch Argyle on TV
But that'd be fekin dire.

The boy stood on the TV set,
His box was all a quiver,
Should he deal or should he not,
Fock knows I'm on the River.

Oh my dear my wife called out I cannot find your hair.
I washed and put it out and now it disappeared into thin air

Day off tomorrow,
Work is done,
Just Luton Argyle,
To spoil my fun.

Luton is a cesspit,
Plymouth is a gem,
The game is live on TV,
No need for radio Dem.

AstiSpumante wrote:

Luton is a cesspit,
Plymouth is a gem,
The game is live on TV,
No need for radio Dem.

I travelled England with Sir Isaac Newton
His poor bowels were a'jumpin' and tootin'
His violent defecation
Ruined most towns in the nation
But made improvements to the borough of Luton

Luton, Luton, Luton,
You are going daaaaan
When the boys in Green and White,
Come marching to your taaaaaan.

There was a young fella named Oscar,
Whose blades lent him rather poor posture
After an act;ungodly
Being let off; scot-free
Unlike Reeva he'll live long and prosper

Evenin' 'erald,
Evenin' 'erald,
Full of feckin shite.

Will i be going to Morcs to watch the Green Belly's? noooooo foooking chance, i'm down the pub watching Arse and Citeh on the telly!

Bought a new toilet seat
Fitted the new toilet seat
Haven't yet christened the new toilet seat

(I think this is a haiku. Or something like that.)

Wycombe smashed us
Oh deary me
Hartlepool at home
Hang me a monkey!

Monkey hanging,
Damn good sport,
Loads of fun,
Unless one's caught.