Falling out of love with Argyle

I don't post much on here, but the result on Saturday coupled with our reaching the summit of our league has led to a realisation that I'm seriously beginning to care less and less about football in general and my football club specifically and wanted to see if I was alone. Just as we may be starting our rennaisance I find myself turning away.

Now funniliy enough this topic reared up on another message board, so I wrote a few paragraphs outlining my experiences and rather than rewrite it, below are the words as I wrote them - so please ignore the Plymouth specific background with which you'll all be familiar.

What It's Come To:

I'm actually at the beginning of my third fall out with the game.

The first time was back in the late 80's. Those of you who have ever caught the train to Plymouth will have experienced the walk back through Central Park and, back then it was a duck shoot for away fans (and occasionally home fans) as our nobheads would invariably appear from the behind the allotments to have a rumble. Mostly this meant running battles with large groups of Leeds, Derby or Sunderland fans who would happily give it back. However seeing a group of about 10 Blackburn fans get an absolute kicking and a similar number of Hull fans a fortnight later did it for me.

Running away to a northern polytechnic a year later and I was back in love with it more than ever - and then it was me trying to be inconspicuous in the back streets of Middlesbrough, Barnsley and Bradford to avoid a kicking. That period from 1988 to 1998, being young, no ties and having a similar band of mates, travelling the country, sleeping on floors. Meeting other fans through the fanzine. Great times.

But like a couple of you, along came the baby. I did about half the homes and virtually no aways outside Devon for a couple of seasons. Living half a mile from Home Park meant I could hear the roars and often found myself meandering with the pram outside the ground with my mates all inside. I learnt to live not being there but following a divorce I got straight back into it.

Up to the start of this season I'd kept my season ticket running unbroken since the year 2000, but last year was a weird one and the one that broke my love for the game. Again like many of you have said it's about the social aspect of the match. When I started heading to Home Park with my mates at 14, a bad Saturday would see about four of us, a good one maybe up to 20 standing together. Last season, often it was just me. Plymouth, like many cities, sees a large number of its young adults move up the line after school or university as the prospects outside the Dockyard have always been bleak. Many can't wait to get away, but for a sizeable few the links with the town strengthen and that manifests itself in the football club - witness the decent away followings we get for games in the southeast especially.

So now a group of us have a get together every couple of months - an extended pub crawl with the game sandwiched in the middle somewhere and that is fine for me. We've had two so far this season and the football is almost of secondary importance. But it's worse than that - relinquishing the season ticket is like a weight gone. I've not been to any other games, I check the message boards less, rarely read the match reports and hardly bother with the Radio Devon commentary. Apparently we went top of the league on Saturday and I don't care. I'm not even sure who scored let alone what may look like if I was to bump into them in the supermarket. No excitement, no thrill - I'm not sure I'll see another match until our next all dayer sometime in November.

Maybe I'll be tempted back - the eldest may well be off to university next year. Some of the exiles are at the age where they want to come back west. Right now though, if top of the table football isn't doing it, I'm not sure what will.

I must admit I've found myself feeling less and less interested in both Argyle and football in general.

Whereas my weekends off I used to be glued to soccer Saturday now I barely watch it.

I'm pleased when we win but I'm not fussed if we lose and i'm certainly not as excited as I was during our previous promotion winning seasons.

Football is about ridiculous money in the top leagues and it's frankly an insult to be charged £20+ to watch league two football so I don't bother travelling to watch Argyle in the flesh anymore.

I'm not a proper fan and to he honestly I don't really care anymore.

We are still 4th division, perhaps promotion might lift your spirits.

I'm sure many of us have experienced similar feelings to varying degrees over the years, work, women, kids, interfering with our football Just hang on in there, time is a great healer, work becomes unimportant, women learn(eventually) and kids grow up and fledge. Failing that and if it's really that much of a chore, let it go and find something else to do that makes you happy, life is short.

.....and winters coming....you'll all have to buy yourselves a S.A.D. light....or you might throw yourselves off the Tamar Bridge.....the worst is behind us....that's not that hard to see surely.

Not just me then. I went to my first home game in 2 years last season (v Tranmere) and then I had to be forced. Doubt I'll go this season. Yes we may be temporarily top and playing 'well' but it certainly doesn't feel anything like a 'promotion' season. With a succession of attrocious self serving owners over the past 8 years I'm left with practically no feeling of affinity with the club whatsoever.

what a time to post this when we just won against exeter!!!!

Angry wrote:

what a time to post this when we just won against exeter!!!!

Angry for some of us that's part of the problem. When I first went to Home Park, the only time we would play Exeter was in the Devon Bowl. Proper derby matches, were the 2 Bristols, Swindon and even Cardiff - occasionally Torquay but never the little club down the road.

Look how far we've come...

Angry wrote:

what a time to post this when we just won against exeter!!!!

Yep - there was a deliberacy in the timing, but I wouldn't have gone tonight in any case. The JPT has felt like a glorified friendly for many a season. I am impressed that over 9000 did attend - I remember a sub-2000 crowd back in the 90's for a similar fixture.

just seems like a buzz killing thread that could have waited till tomorrow not straight after a derby win.

Angry - plenty of places to be happy and celebrate the win. Of course I'm glad we won, I just had no inclination or motivation to go.

I once fell out of love with music after a lifetime of it here, there and everywhere. Once beautiful lyric seemed a jumble of words going nowhere, the sound discordant. Took to walking/exploring instead to get the emotional hit. The love returned after a few years almost out of the blue. Connection is a funny thing.

Football is further down the road, and has long been discordant to me. Gave up on the Premier/national game after Gazza. Only Argyle kept the care for the game going in me. Hated the Kemp days, loved the Fans for fans era as much as the Robert Daniels/Bill Pearce days. Then along came Todd, Gardner and Kagami, and ruined what innocence the club ever had.
Sparks is now unbearable, how does one support something alien to long held sensibilities
Adams I really like, and wish him well. A breath of fresh air allied to entertaining winning football it seems. But it will take the back of Brent's heels and his nauseating speculating fumbles in the park and city to see my return to Home Park. I still attend 3 or 4 away games a season with friends/family and enjoy that in a functional sense with a familiar feeling, and as an excuse to explore new places. I still regard myself as a fan, having so many games under my belt, but promotion means little compared to the cleansing of the club. It might happen, it might not. Meanwhile, I enjoy life elsewhere. I'm an ordinary chap, I demand more green, less lilac. Sling your hook Brent.

Think it was 1-1 1992-93.

Have to say id rather see us playing bigger clubs but we are where we deserve to be for now.
Brent out !!

I do hate this "we are where we deserve to be" rhetoric.

For me "we" are the fans and we deserve so much more. It reminds me of successive Govts leading us to £billions of debt but it's the poor at fault for not working hard enough. No it isn't.

All that said I can appreciate where OP is coming from. Running the gauntlet was probably all part of the fun back in the day but certainly not for everyone. What really put me off wasn't Sky but channel 5. They had a late night show with people I'd never heard of who constantly talked about the prem and money money money. Not having a great reception I spent too long moving the fekn ariel around, often hanging outside the window. Never again.

No, we have earned our 4th tier place.

A lot of the OP resonates with me and I'm guessing we're about the same age. I would say that I've fallen out of love with football but I could never see myself not wanting to know what is going on. More like I'm staying married to a Partner who doesn't deserve me.

My Argyle away days are likewise travelling drinking tours where there is a pre-planned meet up with friends and an overnight stay. We once came close to not actually going to the football at Crystal Palace, despite being in a pub 10 minutes away, because we were having such a laugh.

Argyle winning or losing no longer alters my mood or makes my weekend. Is it me or is it too easy to blame the current board and the outside shenanigans? Not sure.

Agree with plenty of what's been said, except Angry of course.

The bigger picture of life in general. What is and what isn't worth emotional involvement. The futility of 'just supporting' a club with ever diminishing potential. Self interested owners and devious, climbing supporters.

Luggy told me on facebook to enjoy the rollercoaster ride. I told him it was more like being trapped on the M25.

Haven't been to a game for 4 years. Still have Argiggle in my blood and there can never be another club but.....................apart from a day out with mates, pro football is nauseatingly predictable.

10 years old but still true...........just change a club or two.

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Angry wrote:

what a time to post this when we just won against exeter!!!!

The fact we now have regular derbies with Exeter shows exactly how far we've fallen and exactly why some people are bored of it.

Is it really worth getting excited over beating Exeter in a paint trophy?

Yea Man wrote:

Angry wrote:

what a time to post this when we just won against exeter!!!!

The fact we now have regular derbies with Exeter shows exactly how far we've fallen and exactly why some people are bored of it.

Is it really worth getting excited over beating Exeter in a paint trophy?

It is if you're a tent dwelling, bucket rattling Aviva, with a penchant for a photo shoot. One team in Devon

What a depressing thread to read.....good job I don't live near a M-Way, I would be tempted to go and play with the traffic.

ps.....not really....so we're in Div2 lets support the team and enjoy what they are doing at present....we have some entertaining players at the moment....just enjoy them.

zyph wrote:

What a depressing thread to read.....good job I don't live near a M-Way, I would be tempted to go and play with the traffic.

ps.....not really....so we're in Div2 lets support the team and enjoy what they are doing at present....we have some entertaining players at the moment....just enjoy them.

I can't enjoy them because it's a rip off

My main problem is that my occasional attendance now is a solitary affair. A (good) few solitary drinks along The Plain or at The Cherry Tree and 90 minutes slumped in a seat in Block 6 with nobody to rant to or enthuse with...it's just not much fun anymore.

Very much looking forward to the start of the southern hemisphere super rugby season in February. We've got the Japan coach taking over and have managed to stem the flow of our best players to the money in France. My anticipation for Saturday home matches reminds me of what my feelings for Argyle used to be.

Odd timing for the post but have to admit it attracts my interest nevertheless. Like Dick Trickle, a lot of the OP's words chime with me (hardly surprising as Dick and I are old mates, with a long shared Argyle history).

I think there are a lot of things at play when emotional attachment to football slides but probably the common denominator here, if most of us are honest, is age. As you get older, other commitments and worries just take over.

There once was a time when I saw it as imperative I got to Gillingham on a solo mission after about half an hour's sleep from being out the night before - the prerogative of the single man with no ties. These days, a trip for a midweek game needs to be negotiated weeks/months in advance, so it doesn't interfere with family activities. Different times.

Add to that all the other things documented here, which essentially boil down to 'it isn't like it used to be' and one day you wake up questioning your sanity in agonising over a 4th tier team's results, for which you have no control. Age, distance, perspective for me.....coloured by a couple of Argyle-supporting friends dying way too early. See it for what it is - vaguely nonsensical.

Having said all that, when I actually do get to games, the old feelings and adrenaline kick in. Additionally, there is barely a day that goes by when I don't check in to see if there is news on the club. Mind you, this raises another point - vocalised in the past by Mr Trickle - that less is probably more. The football experience used to be about the scraps of news in the traditional media, possibly the fanzine for the magazine element and, of course, match day. It's everywhere now and familiarity breeds contempt.

For now, I'm happy to see the team progressing on the pitch and will actually get to a game soon, as personal circumstances allow it again. I'm genuinely looking forward to that. The administration of the club is inadequate and concerns me....but it isn't keeping me awake at night.

I've never quite got why an Argyle trip is evidently so far down a list of priorities that virtually every other consideration needs to be satisfied before a fella can get the green light go to the football. It isn't as if it's a bi-monthly jaunt for most. I've got friends whose relationship status is such that they are virtually 'not allowed' to go to the football - or if they are, there are multiple strings attached before they are allowed to go. You'd think they were asking for a fortnight in Vegas with Coke and Hookers all thrown in, sometimes.

Put down a marker early doors. Set the ground rules. Don't deviate.

And the number one rule - do not ever question any time that the missus wants to do something or go somewhere with her friends.

25 years down the line, those guidelines have served me well.