Chinger's very interesting and exciting (and Colin) thread

Driving the 250 miles from Chingford to Plymouth tonight (got lots of new tunes to listen to) First game of the season tomorrow (buzzing). Taking my kids to their first Argyle game (they don't know how lucky they are).

86th minute...... QPR 0-1 Liverpool

FT...... QPR 2-3 Liverpool

Nuts.

Not heard from Colin in a while, but today he reappeared. I Got a card through the door saying we'd missed a delivery and it had been left at number 43. For a second I thought "nice one, that's Ivy's house" but then it dawned on me... it's Colins.

Obviously I thought "no worries I'll leave that for the missus to collect later and pretend I didn't see the card". Off I went to a meeting and came back about 2pm (this is a mundane details I'll grant you but it needs be be included so you know where we are in the day).

Anyway, when I returned home I got out of the car to the sound of "Oi Dan, got a package for you here".

Normally this would be responded with a "oh nice one pal, thanks a lot". But this isn't a normal situation and I'll be honest I was nervous.

Once I'd cut a pathway through his hedge like a brave knight trying to rescue a princess from the clutches of an evil spell cast on the kingdom (Christ I drifted there) I was met with what can only be described as a unique sight. Col in his shorts and nothing else. B.E.A.U.TIFUL!
"I don't suppose it's anything for you mate" says Col. "Well whatever gave you that impression you complete bell end. It's from New Look you tosser" thought I. "No mate, it's never for me. Ha ha" said I.
I could see inside his house and I really don't have it in me to describe it.

When I handed the package over to my wife later, she simply said "Thanks, what's that smell?"

Did you and Col have a wrestle and was it his BO?

Why did he call you Dan?

Is it a bit like Trigger calling Rodney Dave?

Peggy wrote:

Why did he call you Dan?

Is it a bit like Trigger calling Rodney Dave?

Pretty much yeah.

The matress and base is still in the alley.

Are you sure it wasn't 'Dad' he called you.

On returning home this morning I noticed a white Transit van slowly driving down the street. A fella jumped out of the van outside of Colins and went down his steps. At this point I went into my house and presumed he was knocking for Col. As I got upstairs I looked out the window and saw the man picking up a BMX from Cols' garden. Again I presumed this had been agreed. Then Col comes "flying" out of his house and gives this fella a mouthful of abuse (I can't repeat what I heard. The naughty man).
The fella is off on his toes but still manages to throw the bike in the back of the van and do one up the road. I got the van's number plate on camera but I figure that the bike was probably stolen in the first place so I might as well put a post on ATD and pretend I "never saw nuthink guv!".

Two Col posts in a row. Back of the net.

It looks like Col's got a nosy neighbour......that transit number could be worth a pint or two......but he'll probably have to borrow the money from someone.....

I'm a bit of curtain twitcher, ooh err...

Chingers wrote:

I'm a bit of curtain twitcher, ooh err...

Has Col... got curtains to twitch as well ?

Curtains, sheets same thing?

What........sheets of Sporting Life.....plus sellotape.

After bike gate of last week I thought things might just go quiet for a bit... I passed the details of the van over to Colsy and thought that was the last of it. Then my son goes to ride his bike and guess what, it's gone? Darn it. They've come down the alley, squeezed past the mattress and base, through my gate (unlocked, d'oh) and into my garden. Well I'm stepping up my curtain twitching campaign I can tell you now.

On another note I've requested that the council pick up the mattress and base so I really hope Colin wasn't storing it there to use when guests come round. I should probably take a picture.

Right I've taken a picture and not only is there now a draw and broken bike but it also looks like Colin has murdered someone and put them under the mattress.

Halloween decorations are up. Bloody Yanks.

Make your own minds up...


[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I think I can solve this mystery. Someone has quite obviously started 'moving in' to your alley. They got the first bits of furniture in (couriered by bike, of course) then the bike has developed a problem. They were then fixing the bike when they've come over all tired and decided to take a nap.

I can't see what the problem is myself.

Is it an alley though? I'm not sure what to call it?

Passageway? Corridor?

Tip?

Col's penthouse suite?

The Den. (but not in a Millwall way)

Is that the missing bike in the picture?

The council will be round to clear the tip on the 10th. Apparently the stuff needs to be on the front lawn... Not sure if I have it in me to go round and speak to Col.