Dilemma...(trimming my neighbours bush)

I'm looking for a spot of advice. One of my garden boundaries has a long privet hedge which I share with my neighbour. Now, I must say, I like to keep a nice tidy bush. Tightly cut, neat, easy on the eye, yeah?

My neighbour, a middle-aged lady, is not quite as meticulous when it comes to her side.

To put it bluntly, her bush is f*cking wild.

The problem is, when she does get round to getting someone in, half of it falls on my bloody side, because of the logistics of manoeuvring around her side, which is at about 14 feet now.

Picking up her mammoth bush trimmimgs pisses me off, no end.

My dilemma is, should I go around and offer to cut her side? Should I ask for payment? - it's not a five minute job. Should I leave the branches for her to dispose of?

Do I do it out of the goodness of my heart? Or do I simply slash in to it (from my side) therefore 'claiming' possesion of more of the bush width?

I don't want to fall out with her, but I'm not sure what to do [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Am I being too picky? Is having a nice tight bush such an issue?

I've never understood the obsession with a neatly trimmed bush. I'd always go for the natural look.

I've always thought a bush should be kept tidy.

Have you considered topiary of some description?

Excellent standard of double wossnames, fellas. Droly would be proud of you.

Czar: have you considered moving house? It's a solution

Don't beat about the bush. Tell her you'll trim her side of the bush too if she helps clear up.

This got me thinking. Mouse's ear or bison's chin ? Mouse's ear for me.

Peggy wrote:

Excellent standard of double wossnames, fellas. Droly would be proud of you.

Czar: have you considered moving house? It's a solution

I can see the Sun headlines:

MAN FORCED TO MOVE BY BUSTY NEIGHBOUR'S BUSH.

The Mail would run a perfectly serious piece on how unruly bushes are indicative of our society at the moment, and is just the sort of issue Cameron should be focussing on.

As for the Daily Sport, well, the mind boggles.

Personally, I would prefer it if the bush was at least trimmed to the roots, it's less likely to be attacked by moss.

Could you offer to trim her bush in a Brazilian style- slimmer and more pleasing on the eye?

Get a Brazilian....................................................................................in to cut her bush.

My own personal advice is to offer to tidy her bush in return for a blow job. Plenty of swallows around to help keep things tidy. Your happy, she is happy, even better still her mouth is full so you wont hear her incessant tittle tattle

The Red Star wrote:

Get a Brazilian....................................................................................in to cut her bush.

My own personal advice is to offer to tidy her bush in return for a blow job. Plenty of swallows around to help keep things tidy. Your happy, she is happy, even better still her mouth is full so you wont hear her incessant tittle tattle

You really should think about doing a problem page on ATD. Sound advice, eloquently delivered. Marje Proops and Clare Rayner would be so proud.

The Red Star wrote:

Get a Brazilian....................................................................................in to cut her bush.

My own personal advice is to offer to tidy her bush in return for a blow job. Plenty of swallows around to help keep things tidy. Your happy, she is happy, even better still her mouth is full so you wont hear her incessant tittle tattle

Well it's an option, Mr Star. Thing is, much as I'm not adverse to a bit of MILF/GILF, she's really not much of a looker. In fact, you know when people say that dogs often resemble their owners? Well, my neighbour kinda resembles her bush.

There's another thing too, if I trim her bush this time - especially if I don't charge - will she expect free bushwork in future?

Can of worms ain't it?

My own personal preference is to get rid of the bush altogether.

There's nothing worse than bits of it stuck in the teeth......of the hedge trimmer.

In respect of your dilema, if you want a job doing properly, do it yourself. Play the good samaritan and then you can trim her bush to your standards. Clearly, it will involve a bit of extra work on your part, both trimming and cleaning up, but I think it will be worth it.

My missus is the gardener in our house and she decided years ago to do away with the hassle of a bush altogether. A nicely clipped hedge all the time with the minimum of upkeep required.

I strongly recommend it as it's so much easier to get to what's on the other side.

Ok, neighbours bush update...

...well, I went round and volunteered my services this afternoon. She was delighted, and after I'd got to work on some of the thick stuff, she would then help me sacateuring it into managable sizes. I let her guide me, so as I didn't take too much off - she doesn't like it too bare.

Very much a work-in-progress though, with most of it falling on to my side (see below) but I'll be going around tomorrow to finish off and give her a bush she can be proud of.


[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I hate to tell you this, Czar me old mucker, but that's not a bush.

It's a hedge.

Peggy wrote:

I hate to tell you this, Czar me old mucker, but that's not a bush.

It's a hedge.

'Tis true Pegs yeah, (I even allude to it in the 2nd sentence of the OP)

For the purposes of childish, juvenile, sexist double entendres though, it's a bush.

Do you have a bush hedge Peggy?

Haven't got a garden.

Just a windowbox.

Peggy wrote:

Haven't got a garden.

Just a windowbox.

Are we talking in riddles here, my darling?

No.

Czarcasm I hope you had adequate protection!