Who's going to Tiverton?

I see in other News Burnley are playing Morecambe, and Birmingham are playing Shamrock Rovers, meanwhile on planet insular, inbred and parochial we console ourselves with the likes of Elberton, Liskeard and the dizzy heights of Tiverton.
Wake me up when this nightmare is over

That's spooky Peggy, here is the actual text I sent to him when he said he was informing the police and the the tiverton stewards that I wanted to ask him some questions:

Oh hello is that the police, yes I would like protection in tiverton on Saturday please because a man I secretly spied upon whilst pretending to be friendly with isn't happy that I also gave his mother's personal details like her HOME ADDRESS and she's disabled and in her sixties!

And what has this man threatened?

To ask me some questions officer!

Hello are you still there? I haven't given you all his details yet and what time I shall be arriving in tiverton. Hello, hello?

If you see Newell, tell him he's a cnut please Jock? Ta

 

I'll have to parachute into the ground to avoid the protection squad Hoopers arranged.

I've no need to tell Newell he's a cnut he's well aware of it already. Besides I'm not going to speak to porky, been there done that and got the t-shirt. Him and Webb lied through their teeth last year blaming all the threats on Ponty first and then guaranteeing me 200% it was young Sean, when all along it was their mate Postey and friends he won't name but a drunken Jameson let on it was in fact Newell and Webb themselves.

I'm going to speak to Hooper on behalf of my mother who he passed private details like her address to Lee Jameson, oh and Postey if he's there.
I might do a brief synopsis if I can

stand after all the cider I'm planning to consume with Alan in Tiverton's finest hostelry's.

If you see Webby could you slide your hand down the front of his trousers, gently cup his balls in your hand and say that I love him?

what time you arriving Jock,meet you by the bus station ?