Who's going to Tiverton?

So who else is taking up Alans kind offer of showing us the sights of tiverton?

I'm not going to stay the night, the missus is going to Taunton then picking me up at night.

Alan's been collecting white feathers to wear in case fatty is there, but it's Tony Hooper I'm looking forward to seeing in the flesh. I have a few questions I want to ask him which he ignores by phone and email.

If pl2 faced is going as well then that will be double the fun.

Quite a nice clubhouse I remember from last year, very cheap.

i wont be able to attend as im skint, but im more than welcome toadvise on where to go etc...Seven stars in bridge st(opposite weatherspoons) is a footy/sports pub, no real ale.
the best pub for real ale/cider is a new,independant small pub called Goldies,
if anyone needs a place to doss the night,you can crash at mine. its a bit of an arty mess though.
please let me know if you need any advice on parking,buse,trains etc..more than happy to help.

Tonys told me by text that he won't be answering any questions about him spying on me and giving my mother's personal details to Jameson and how that fits in with him being an Argyle supporters rep.

He also said he'll be contacting the police and tiverton stewards to inform them that I'll be there and want to ask him these questions.

I don't think the queen gets the protection Mr Hooper expects from Devon and Cornwall's finest. Maybe the PASB are more important than we thought.

Who the fook do they think they are? Can you imagine the old bills response to him saying that someone wants to talk to him about stuff he has said and he wants police protection or intervention?
Message to the wise Snooperman, don't get involved in all this underhand shit and then no one will be interested in you, or is that the point of it all?

I'm sure tiverton will lay on an armed escort for Hooper to and from the ground and the police and stewards will have CCTV images of me. They are also planning on using a Hooper lookalike, fat old man with hairy ears and nose and extremely bad breath, to confuse me and try to get me directing my questions to the wrong person upon which they will arrest me immediately and transfer me to the counter terrorism unit at Paddington Green police station for interrogation and torture.


Tony Hooper's presence at Tiverton on Saturday is estimated to be costing the taxpayer in excess of £1.5 million and the mayor Richard Cerbera has commented "Who gives a feck, I'm sitting next to James Brent and Ian Newell. It's the kind of thing you tell your grandchildren about, by the way do you need a cheap taxi"

i shall blockade Tiverton police station with myself and empty cider bottles so the buggers cant get out.

Just ensure that the bullfrog faced snooping creep gets a shitload of abuse

I only want to ask him a couple of questions. He usually answers fans questions on Pasoti so why not for me? He's like a politician who's been caught out lying refusing to answer questions and making himself look like a bigger cnut than he already does.

Maybe if I was a season ticket holder?

It would be so much easier for the cnut to come clean and apologise to me for being an utter two faced wanker.

You ought to take a megaphone with you Jock and shout your questions at full volume so everyone in attendance can hear  

shall i ask the town crier to do it ?

Pity tiverton don't have an electronic scoreboard.

Now there's an idea porky, the tiverton electronic scoreboard sponsored by FIS/FEL. Still got a day and a half to arrange it.

lloyd maunders butchers does great bacon rolls for £ 1.30, in centre of town,next to william hill and the white horse, meet you there JOCK ?

William hill sounds good to me. I've got s bet I can pick up.

Or you could go in fancy dress- giraffe or private detective - might be a bit hot though.

nice one. early sherbert at mine ? hills open at 8.30.i'll get some bacon in

alannotivvy wrote:

nice one. early sherbert at mine ? hills open at 8.30.i'll get some bacon in

Message me the details. I might wear a deerstalker  

thought you were coming undercover in a Deliverance inbred vibe. fit in round here

Well i was thinking about it,but as i am going to a 40th birthday party tonight and then the after party,probably not now..

miss all the fun !!!

Should be interesting indeed, i really really hope that Hooper gets owned!!

Hmmm seems it will be more interesting goings on in the stands tomorrow, i may well venture up

               

This morning I found a small stuffed giraffe on my doorstep. It had a green ribbon wound round its neck, with a suspicious bulge about half way up. When I unwound the ribbon, I found that the bulge was in fact one of those tiny cassettes from a dictaphone. As I've got an old dictaphone (liberated it from an old job, for some reason) I've been able to transcribe the tape.

"Hello - is that the Tiverton police?"

"Yes, sir. How can I help you?"

"Ah, jolly good. Now. I'm a very important person - I'm an elected member of the PASB and I'm on first name terms with James Brent."

"Sorry, sir - elected member of the what? First name terms with whom?"

[Loud tutting noise, followed by a sigh]

"Never mind. Now, you see, the thing is, I'm going to be attending a football match on Saturday at the Tiverton Town ground."

"Yes, sir. Have you got any intelligence for us? Is there going to be a terrorist attack? Pre-planned hooliganism?"

"Oh no - it's worse than that. A man wants to talk to me there."

[Annoyed yet bored tone of voice] "A man wants to talk to you, sir? Are you aware that wasting police time is a criminal offence?"

"No, no - you don't understand! This man wants to ask me if I was engaged to spy on him and his family, and if I gave his mother's details to some other people."

"I see, Sir. And why would he want to ask you that? What did you say you do for a living - member of something, wasn't it?"

"Oh, no - that's an elected position, and one I'm very proud of. But I'm also a private investigator."

"So you're a private investigator and this man wants to ask you if you were paid to investigate him. That seems like a perfectly reasonable question to ask, sir."

[Hints of exasperation and bluster in tone of voice] "But I feel threatened! I mean, he's ever so poorly and sometimes has to use crutches, but he's called me all sorts of names and I want protection!"

"I'm going to hang up now, sir. Please think carefully before calling the police without good cause"

Beeeeeeeeeeep

Greenjock.  Greens on screen are looking for a photographer.  You could do an alternative view of the evening.
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 Peggy!