FAO Pitbull

Where is your report :O

Renegade wrote:

Where is your report :O

The boy has probably had a minor breakdown............. completely Aviva'd out !

Yeah c'mon Cobi you lazy fucker, where's your damming report? I want it written in blood and as cutting as an episode of the one show.

I'm 'led to believe' or 'understand' that he smashed his mobile in temper last night and went on a jolly to Southend strip joints after the game and wont be back for quite some time.

I expect to be wrong though, the coach had a breakdown.

In the absence of PB here's my match report.

1st minute nothing happened
2nd minute nothing happened
3rd minute nothing happened
4th minute nothing happened
5th minute something happened
6th minute nothing happened......
Etc....

43rd minute quick piss (approximately 23 seconds), followed by burger and chips. The ladies were gossiping about that 50 shades of grey book. I asked them if they'd tried any of that shit out on their husbands. They all looked disgusted.

Half time some sailors were on the pitch and perimeter and the draw raised about £157 but this could be incorrect.

Second half nothing happened

Went home.

That is SLIPSHOD clingers- where's the ratings!!!!

Chemical Ali wrote:

That is SLIPSHOD clingers- where's the ratings!!!!

I think the sailors were all ratings....

Sorry, sailors 6.25/10
50 Shades of Grey girls 7/10
Jake Cole 9/10
Dagenham Heathway tube station 1/10
Whetherspoons 3/10
Daggers 2/10
Argyle .35/10
Burger and Chips 8/10

Sorry I forgot to rate the songs

Songs about Argyle 6/10
Songs about Argyle players who have only played twice for Argyle and don't really deserve a song until they've had at least one good game and maybe shown a slight bit of staying power and commitment 0/10

How about the bird who sat on her arse or the table in the bogs? You're seriously undermining the football experience.

Coxside_Green wrote:

How about the bird who sat on her arse or the table in the bogs? You're seriously undermining the football experience.

Sorry I was rating football matters. I don't see how ginger birds falling off their seat or coffee tables beside the urinals are relevant.

Oh sod it....
Table 7/10
Ginger bird (the actual fall not her) 6/10

Bonus rating
The bird who appeared in the first half and went through the gate on the right hand side 7/10. Same rating as the table which she'd be pleased about.

Chingers wrote:

Coxside_Green wrote:

How about the bird who sat on her arse or the table in the bogs? You're seriously undermining the football experience.

Sorry I was rating football matters. I don't see how ginger birds falling off their seat or coffee tables beside the urinals are relevant.

Oh sod it....
Table 7/10
Ginger bird (the actual fall not her) 6/10

Bonus rating
The bird who appeared in the first half and went through the gate on the right hand side 7/10. Same rating as the table which she'd be pleased about.

Edit and delete to be totally honest.

Sorry, I dont care your 'football' report, it's all about matchday experience, didn't you know?

Excellent report Chingers I can see Cobi is going to be out of a job soon

Grumpy wrote:

Excellent report Chingers I can see Cobi is going to be out of a job soon

Thanks, it means a lot. Next report will be from Barnet unless I forget the games on and don't go.

Quote :

Cobi Budge ‏@cobipafc
Another clueless performance from our pathetic team, Green army were amazing but how dagenham didn't win 5 0 #pafc

know its only 2 games in, but today AGAIN proved we need a manager who has a game plan, hoofing to nowhere isn't one! Clueless again! #pafc

Just wanted to add, green army were brilliant tonight, didn't hear the dagenham fans once. Despite an appalling game

if he wont post it here i will

Grumpy wrote:

Excellent report Chingers I can see Cobi is going to be out of a job soon

cobi who?

Love the ratings gag Chingers, class.