Falmouth Truro based?

Now! I know that normally I write carp and try to be funny but this is serious. Even saying that I expect loads of funny, abusive, hilarious comments - t'is the way on ATD!

I need to try and find about 4 females in Falmouth area ideally but Truro - Penryn - Falmouth or even Chacewater / Redruth who would like a free nail treatment session. All legit and it's about me helping someone launch their business. However, they have no idea of my cunning plan. Please just PM me but I may not reply until pm tomorrow. Bring on the funnies and abuse.

Dirty old letch.


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Les Miserable wrote:

Dirty old letch.


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Rumbled!!!
The whole thing is me being really nice to help a new business off the ground by paying for the nail job without the person involved knowing about it. Someone books - I give the person the dosh who then pays as if it were them paying - with not a word about my involvement.
I now expect more abuse and humour along the lines of ''Will you pay for my ........??'' Bring em on!

And it was all going so well, right up to the point that you explained what you were doing on an Internet message board that can be viewed by billions of people.

What could possibly go wrong

Simple, go to a mother and baby group and offer freebie there.

Elias wrote:

Simple, go to a mother and baby group and offer freebie there.

I don't think he'd be allowed to break the restraining order

Homeslice wrote:

Elias wrote:

Simple, go to a mother and baby group and offer freebie there.

I don't think he'd be allowed to break the restraining order

The people involved in my plan do not frequent footy sites - ever! ''Freebies at a mother and baby group?'' The mind boggles. Last year in ASDA there was a baby clothes sale and I noticed a very tasty blonde looking around the men's clothes. Having decided the blond was not a TV I approached and said ''are you aware there is a baby clothes sale'' The blond replied ''I don't have a baby'' I quickly said ''we can fix that on the way'' Bar stewards threw me out - didn't have to do that - all they had to do was ask me to leave.

If youre offering free nail sessions its a good place to offer it.......new mothers skint etc......use your loaf my old china !

Elias wrote:

If youre offering free nail sessions its a good place to offer it.......new mothers skint etc......use your loaf my old china !

Would that mean me dressing up as a woman and carrying a baby. Can't you buy toy babies in a little pig outfit that cry, pith themselves and shout ''JB is our saviour''
I knew this thread would descend into complete .......... ???

tigertony wrote:

Elias wrote:

If youre offering free nail sessions its a good place to offer it.......new mothers skint etc......use your loaf my old china !

Would that mean me dressing up as a woman and carrying a baby. Can't you buy toy babies in a little pig outfit that cry, pith themselves and shout ''JB is our saviour''
I knew this thread would descend into complete .......... ???

Not at all.
You'd just need to 'borrow' a baby/toddler.

When the Junior General was born, I was working from home most of the time, and so I was able to take the Thursday mornings off to take him to the 'Mother and Toddler' group at the community centre.
There were about 4 other fathers who used to go with their siblings too.

BBC1 wrote:

tigertony wrote:

Elias wrote:

If youre offering free nail sessions its a good place to offer it.......new mothers skint etc......use your loaf my old china !

Would that mean me dressing up as a woman and carrying a baby. Can't you buy toy babies in a little pig outfit that cry, pith themselves and shout ''JB is our saviour''
I knew this thread would descend into complete .......... ???

Not at all.
You'd just need to 'borrow' a baby/toddler.

When the Junior General was born, I was working from home most of the time, and so I was able to take the Thursday mornings off to take him to the 'Mother and Toddler' group at the community centre.
There were about 4 other fathers who used to go with their siblings too.

Did you wear a frock?

OK serious hats on now - please. Anyone who lives in Truro, Carnon, Perranarwurzel thingy (by Norway), Mylor, Mabe, Penryn, Falmouth etc etc even Redruth and Lanner. If you do and have a missus or mistress or daughter (or son!!) or relations etc who would enjoy a free nail session then just PM me. Even further afield would be OK if the person can get to Falmouth similarly home visits can be arranged within about 10 miles of Truro. Free nail job!! I'll even throw in a signed old sock.

OK - someone must have a use for a free **** job? C'mon now. If your missus isn't aware of the one night per week that you prance around Falmouth or Truro wearing a frock and you think a free **** job would help you, then I won't tell. Well ..... would be a larf though!