Started a thread (thread)

I've got no idea's what this thread should be about.

Ideas welcome (I'm thinking maybe gardening tips or getting the best out of your vinyl records).

As a side note, my neighbours cat has gone missing. She looked over the fence and asked "you ain't seen me cat 'ave ya? It's just 'e ain't been 'ome for a few days". I said to maybe call the vet in case it had been run over and killed.
It always s**ts on my lawn...

Perhaps you should post this sort of thing on the Mundane thread?

What about the Colin thread?

Can we keep it on topic please Mods, or Stasi as some call us.

Chingers wrote:

I've got no idea's what this thread should be about.

Ideas welcome (I'm thinking maybe gardening tips or getting the best out of your vinyl records).

As a side note, my neighbours cat has gone missing.  She looked over the fence and asked "you ain't seen me cat 'ave ya?  It's just 'e ain't been 'ome for a few days".  I said to maybe call the vet in case it had been run over and killed.
It always s**ts on my lawn...

Do you have a confession Chingers? Y'know...in a kind of 'cat shits on my lawn then goes missing' way?

There's a cat near me needs a grisly end.

cats are pointless, dogs are well lush...hows the cushions and candles Seadog ?

Que?

There's shorely a nailed-on business opportunity here. I don't have a dog. I don't particularly want a dog. But I'm in a house where everyone else would like a dog.

I know darn well if we were to purchase a dog, once the honeymoon period is over there'd be one person and one person alone who would be walking the mutt first thing in the morning and last thing at night, in all weathers picking up shit in a glove with the permanent fear that one day it will split. I know this foreshore, because after years of standing firm I gave in and bought the youngest a goldfish. What is annoying is it has got to be a contender for the Guinessbook of records for longevity - it's about 8 f ucking years old and refuses to die. Now I have a heart. I know this because if I didn't feed the f ucker he'd have been dead about 7 1/2 years ago because no one else in the house is the slightest bit interested in feeding it, let alone cleaning it out once a month.

So that's basically where my steadfast refusal to get a dog comes from - my bone idle lazy family.

The thing is, there are times when I would secretly quite like to have a dog. Pretty much exclusively during the period June/July/August, and then possibly Xmas/Boxing Day, when a recreational visit to the park or the beach would be highly desirable - and ticks the box when it comes to thinking about a particular upside to dog ownership.

So here's the business opportunity - DOG RENTAL.

Who really wants a dog 12 months of the year eh? Shorely no one. Think of the cash savings for starters. Factor in massively diminished heartache when it barks its last bark.

Just pop down to Dogs 'R' us on a fine day and hire one for a few hours. Short term contract where you agree to supply say, one meal and water. Also possibly agree that you won't take it to a gipsy site and indulge in 12 rounds of 'dog on dog'.

It's a goer, foreshore.

Czarcasm wrote:

There's shorely a nailed-on business opportunity here. I don't have a dog. I don't particularly want a dog. But I'm in a house where everyone else would like a dog.

I know darn well if we were to purchase a dog, once the honeymoon period is over there'd be one person and one person alone who would be walking the mutt first thing in the morning and last thing at night, in all weathers picking up shit in a glove with the permanent fear that one day it will split. I know this foreshore, because after years of standing firm I gave in and bought the youngest a goldfish. What is annoying is it has got to be a contender for the Guinessbook of records for longevity  - it's about 8 f ucking years old and refuses to die. Now I have a heart. I know this because if I didn't feed the f ucker he'd have been dead about 7 1/2 years ago because no one else in the house is the slightest bit interested in feeding it, let alone cleaning it out once a month.

So that's basically where my steadfast refusal to get a dog comes from - my bone idle lazy family.

The thing is, there are times when I would secretly quite like to have a dog. Pretty much exclusively  during the period June/July/August, and then possibly Xmas/Boxing Day, when a recreational visit to the park or the beach would be highly desirable - and ticks the box when it comes to thinking about a particular upside to dog ownership.

So here's the business opportunity - DOG RENTAL.

Who really wants a dog 12 months of the year eh? Shorely no one.  Think of the cash savings for starters. Factor in massively diminished heartache when it barks its last bark.

Just pop down to Dogs 'R' us on a fine day and hire one for a few hours. Short term contract where you agree to supply say, one meal and water. Also possibly agree that you won't take it to a gipsy site and indulge in 12 rounds of 'dog on dog'.

It's a goer, foreshore.  

Somebody's got there first I'm afraid...

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Bastards.

Surely the point of having a dog is to build a loving relationship,  if you only want one for a few hours become a dog walker and earn some money

My friend (let's call him Roy) Roy is a dog foster carer. I kid you not. Dog's that have been in kennels for ages, but for one reason or another don't get rehoused. So our friend Roy take a dog in for a few months to stop it going stir crazy. Breaks his heart every time the dogs go back but it's a nice thing to do. It also means he can enjoy an pet but has the ability to go on holiday abroad for months at time without worrying about his dog.

Holidaying abroad, for months at a time. Yeah, you did read that right. Retired innit.

PlymptonPilgrim wrote:

Perhaps you should post this sort of thing on the Mundane thread?

How dare you. This is far from mundane.

Someone else's dog is always the best way forwards. Look:

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It's a bit like kids. I don't mind looking after friends' kids. You can have a laugh, fill them full of sweets, buy them a new chainsaw and then drop them back to their parents while you pop to the pub. Anyone who actually went to the trouble and expense of actually having kids was wildly deluded, as far as I can tell.

Having grown up in a dog-owning house, and then married a cat person, I can confirm that cats are far superior to dogs. Cats are just as interesting, personality-wise, as dogs, and can be extremely affectionate. What they aren't are needy yes-men (or yes-canines, I suppose) that cling to you like a lovesick simpleton. The kind of people who get dogs are probably the same kind of people who have kids.

Meanwhile, me and the cats are off out for a drink (porter for me; stagnant water from and old puddle for the moggies.)

MikeWN wrote:

Someone else's dog is always the best way forwards. Look:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

It's a bit like kids. I don't mind looking after friends' kids. You can have a laugh, fill them full of sweets, buy them a new chainsaw and then drop them back to their parents while you pop to the pub. Anyone who actually went to the trouble and expense of actually having kids was wildly deluded, as far as I can tell.

Having grown up in a dog-owning house, and then married a cat person, I can confirm that cats are far superior to dogs. Cats are just as interesting, personality-wise, as dogs, and can be extremely affectionate. What they aren't are needy yes-men (or yes-canines, I suppose) that cling to you like a lovesick simpleton. The kind of people who get dogs are probably the same kind of people who have kids.

Meanwhile, me and the cats are off out for a drink (porter for me; stagnant water from and old puddle for the moggies.)

Note to SFD....this is what an actual interesting and informative graph/chart looks like.

Top work, Mike.

That's an amazing graph. I've got four kids. I only cry about 6 times a day. Oh and a hamster.

Cat people are generally odd though. All that cats are really clean nonsense as they walk all over the kitchen surfaces and cr@p on everyone else's garden except their own.

Czarcasm wrote:

Note to SFD....this is what an actual interesting and informative graph/chart looks like.

Top work, Mike.

Can't argue with facts. Or, as this is the internet, with FACTS!!

Chingers wrote:

That's an amazing graph.  I've got four kids.  I only cry about 6 times a day.  Oh and a hamster.

Cat people are generally odd though.  All that cats are really clean nonsense as they walk all over the kitchen surfaces and cr@p on everyone else's garden except their own.  

Oh no, cats are filthy beggars. But no more so than dogs, really. And the best way to stop cats shitting in your garden? Get a cat.

Or an eagle owl.

Gulls chase cats.

Or move next door to a Chinese takeaway.

True story about a Chinese take away in Glen Park Ave (you'll have to work it out)

My mum and step dad were (probably) staggering back from town and decided to stop en route home to Mutley to get a Chinese.

Long story short, whilst waiting for the food, the women taking the orders, took a pot with her from the kitchen and went out of the take away through a glass door.

They said you could see her as clear as day squat down and take a pi** into the saucepan. She then proceeded to take it outside and throw it into the gutter.

Cue them both out of there like a (I won't say rat up a drainpipe) shot.

It's got a 3 out of 5 food hygiene rate. Which, with all things considered, ain't too bad.

Surely the first thing this thread needs is a sponsor?

Chingers wrote:

True story about a Chinese take away in Glen Park Ave (you'll have to work it out)

My mum and step dad were (probably) staggering back from town and decided to stop en route home to Mutley to get a Chinese.

Long story short, whilst waiting for the food, the women taking the orders, took a pot with her from the kitchen and went out of the take away through a glass door.

They said you could see her as clear as day squat down and take a pi** into the saucepan.  She then proceeded to take it outside and throw it into the gutter.

Cue them both out of there like a (I won't say rat up a drainpipe) shot.

It's got a 3 out of 5 food hygiene rate.  Which, with all things considered, ain't too bad.

Their hot and sour soup(no 19) is very 'watery'.