He is back

its the latest trendy Wemberlee wear

Six mates are going, all sitting together, they plan on booing him as he starts to speak

Dougie wrote:

ve had early sight of his message (with side notes)

Dear Forza Verde, Players Wife and Girlfriends (make sure I'm standing with legs apart thrusting forward from the groin)

Welcome to Wembury - I mean Wembley (the thick locals will love that one - Josh Widdecombe would be proud - make sure I grin my best winning grin so everyone knows its a joke)

We all know we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my motivational speeches that Derek insist I give the team before every game (allow for applause and fans singing 'there is only one The Chris Webb').  And lets not forget that during administration I stood next to the electric meter feeding it with 10p's from my own back pocket and so I singlehandedly and literally didn't let the lights go out at Home Park (allow time for shot of me standing next to Tom Daley and a gold electricity meter to be shown of the big screen - hope the guys and girls in the crowd like effort I went to to squeeze into a pair of Tom's budgie smugglers for the photoshoot)

As you all know I am Argyle's longest serving fan and have been a face on the terraces since mid 2011 (big screen shows shot of me ejecting longserving fans from there seats on the Devonport End surrounded by kids from the forza verde preschool)

I know you some of you have made the long trip here from all parts of the globe and I myself have travelled all the way from Windsor and would love just to soak up the atmosphere without hearing from me.  But listen - you don't think I'm going to pass up this career enhancing (wave to CWU executive board in the royal box that I got tickets for) once in a lifetime opportunity do you - that would go against everything I've done so far for the greater good of me.

Please before the players come onto the pitch and before I go to meet Tony Wrathall (never say never) and the rest of the board in hospitality being served by minimum wage lackeys join me in a rousing rendition of the greatest of greates Argyle songs 'We'll keep the red flag flying here' (be sure to apologise to Johnny Mercer for that one - don't what the next cheque to go missing in the post - not that anything like that happens due those fine posteys working an 80 hour week whilst I'm swanning round the country on expenses)

Yours forever green (unless I can get comps for a Tottenham game or something)

(pause - look round the stadium as men women and children cry with unbridled emotion into their Argyle/The The Chris Webb half and half scarves)

brilliant dougie

"Promotion is vital. At Home Park we can expect a higher standard of opposition, a higher standard of player, and most importantly, a higher standard of players wives".