What I'd do, if I were you, is befriend a couple of Argyle fans on the train. DON'T TELL THEM THAT YOU'RE WANTING TO GO TO THE GAME. Try and make sure they're elderly IF POSSIBLE - this SHOULDN'T be too difficult, as over half the fanbase is old as fuuuck. Then, when the train pulls up to a RANDOM station (ie NOT Exeter FCOL), subtly and casually ask if one of them (pick the leader; more likely to be holding tickets) can help you with your luggage. If they are reticent, then say "what a nice journey you've had, so unlike stereotypical football fans" to lull him or her into a false (as fuuuck) sense of security. When they help you with your bag (use someone else's if you're despo to stay in character), grab the fooookin mug by the throat (pronounce this 'FROAT' if you wanna saind double hard), dangle him menacingly over the platform and demand that he give you his wallet. At this stage he will likely be in shock, and I read something called 'Stockholm Syndrome' the other day, where he might instantly fall in love with you (posso not in your case), so as he goes in for the wallet, it should be easy as fuuuck pickings to nab the ticket at the same time. Return to your seat (whistling will make the tense crime scene automatically a whole lot more relaxed and normal. Then enjoy the game. SORTED EH?
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Thu Feb 12, 2015 6:40 pm
