Ice (non-white version for the sensitive and PC do gooder mofo's.)

Kin hell man.

Where I live it was like a scene from World War Z, well the aftermath after the Zombies had ridden through town.

I could barely walk out of my road for black ice. The dog was like he was on a treadmill, i.e paws going like fuk but not getting anywhere. An old guy had fallen over a few doors up and had been lying there for an hour, poor fecker. So while he was incapacitated, I went through his pockets to see if he had any fags (joking, FFS) called an ambulance, thankfully he's ok.

Eventually got going again with the morning doggy walk - got to the main road and there was a car that had just ploughed into someones wall after trying to turn right - he just carried on - BANG.

Up the road a guy on a motorbike tried to turn at the lights but slid about 30 yards up the road on his arse!! Further up the road a bus was trying to get out of a side road but was sliding everywhere. He gave it another big rev at the hill but slid into someone's car!!

I had to rush home for stiff drink. Most traumatic.


That is all.

Went flat on my back walking the dog in Beaumont Park this morning, knocked the wind right outa me so it did.

Feckin PCC  

Person Of Interest wrote:

Kin hell man.

Where I live it was like a scene from World War Z, well the aftermath after the Zombies had ridden through town.

I could barely walk out of my road for black ice. The dog was like he was on a treadmill, i.e paws going like fuk but not getting anywhere. An old guy had fallen over a few doors up and had been lying there for an hour, poor fecker. So while he was incapacitated,  I went through his pockets to see if he had any fags (joking, FFS) called an ambulance, thankfully he's ok.

Eventually got going again with the morning doggy walk - got to the main road and there was a car that had just ploughed into someones wall after trying to turn right - he just carried on - BANG.

Up the road a guy on a motorbike tried to turn at the lights but slid about 30 yards up the road on his arse!! Further up the road a bus was trying to get out of a side road but was sliding everywhere. He gave it another big rev at the hill but slid into someone's car!!

I had to rush home for stiff drink. Most traumatic.


That is all.

If you'd tied the dog to the gate post.....he could have walked on the spot for half an hour....and you could of gone indoors and checked on him now and again through the window.....whilst you sipped your hot toddy......and been spared all that life shortening trauma.......

It's icy as feck here although thawing now. Us country folk are just getting on with life as normal, obviously tougher than you southern monkeys. I fell over as soon as I went out the door but just stayed down and dragged myself around, don't know what all the fuss is about.

My car very gracefully swapped ends on me at about 10mph yesterday.

zyph wrote:

Person Of Interest wrote:

Kin hell man.

Where I live it was like a scene from World War Z, well the aftermath after the Zombies had ridden through town.

I could barely walk out of my road for black ice. The dog was like he was on a treadmill, i.e paws going like fuk but not getting anywhere. An old guy had fallen over a few doors up and had been lying there for an hour, poor fecker. So while he was incapacitated,  I went through his pockets to see if he had any fags (joking, FFS) called an ambulance, thankfully he's ok.

Eventually got going again with the morning doggy walk - got to the main road and there was a car that had just ploughed into someones wall after trying to turn right - he just carried on - BANG.

Up the road a guy on a motorbike tried to turn at the lights but slid about 30 yards up the road on his arse!! Further up the road a bus was trying to get out of a side road but was sliding everywhere. He gave it another big rev at the hill but slid into someone's car!!

I had to rush home for stiff drink. Most traumatic.


That is all.

If you'd tied the dog to the gate post.....he could have walked on the spot for half an hour....and you could of gone indoors and checked on him now and again through the window.....whilst you sipped your hot toddy......and been spared all that life shortening trauma.......

Good thinking Zyphers. That'll be the plan for next time.

Person Of Interest wrote:

zyph wrote:

Person Of Interest wrote:

Kin hell man.

Where I live it was like a scene from World War Z, well the aftermath after the Zombies had ridden through town.

I could barely walk out of my road for black ice. The dog was like he was on a treadmill, i.e paws going like fuk but not getting anywhere. An old guy had fallen over a few doors up and had been lying there for an hour, poor fecker. So while he was incapacitated,  I went through his pockets to see if he had any fags (joking, FFS) called an ambulance, thankfully he's ok.

Eventually got going again with the morning doggy walk - got to the main road and there was a car that had just ploughed into someones wall after trying to turn right - he just carried on - BANG.

Up the road a guy on a motorbike tried to turn at the lights but slid about 30 yards up the road on his arse!! Further up the road a bus was trying to get out of a side road but was sliding everywhere. He gave it another big rev at the hill but slid into someone's car!!

I had to rush home for stiff drink. Most traumatic.


That is all.

If you'd tied the dog to the gate post.....he could have walked on the spot for half an hour....and you could of gone indoors and checked on him now and again through the window.....whilst you sipped your hot toddy......and been spared all that life shortening trauma.......

Good thinking Zyphers. That'll be the plan for next time.

If you dangle a treat just out of reach you might even get him running......giving him more exercise.....then you can bring him in earlier.

Went for a walk at Postbridge this afternoon, it was bleddy chilly and a bit crunchy underfoot but no snow to speak of, nice though, we played unblocking drains for twenty minutes, very satisfying.

Iggy wrote:

Went for a walk at Postbridge this afternoon, it was bleddy chilly and a bit crunchy underfoot but no snow to speak of, nice though, we played unblocking drains for twenty minutes, very satisfying.

There's some great walks up onto the moors from Postbridge It's one of my favourite places for doggy walks. Oh, and there's Beliver Tor very near by - a great place for illegal raves.

The (nitty) gritters will be out

Hugh Watt wrote:

The (nitty) gritters will be out

Ooh, contraversial.

Person Of Interest wrote:

Hugh Watt wrote:

The (nitty) gritters will be out

Ooh, contraversial.

Lucky he didn't say slippery slope. Pedliar would have been outraged with the world 'slope'.

black ice is lethal. broke my wrist because of it in town walking to college. Ban it i say

Angry wrote:

black ice is lethal. broke my wrist because of it in town walking to college. Ban it i say

Black ice was in town walking to college!! OMFG, black ice has certainly evolved.

Person Of Interest wrote:

Angry wrote:

black ice is lethal. broke my wrist because of it in town walking to college. Ban it i say

Black ice was in town walking to college!! OMFG, black ice has certainly evolved.

he takes no prisoners like the white ice

Hugh Watt wrote:

The (*****) ******rs will be out

Full mod meeting called to discuss the posting of this filth!

Can't be arsed to remove it all though!

Pity the fecking pitch wasn't frozen today.

mouldyoldgoat wrote:

Hugh Watt wrote:

The (*****) ******rs will be out

Full mod meeting called to discuss the posting of this filth!

Can't be arsed to remove it all though!

Shorely (TM Mock) a derogative comment of this nature warrants a lifetime ban. Gotta be.

I agree but I'm still waiting for the other mods to come to the mod room!