Plymouth Argyle Talk - Democratic

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Stonehouse Tourist Department's latest brochure for you.

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Welcome to the wonderful suburb of Stonehouse. The shiny jewel in the city of Plymouth's crown.
Please take a moment during your stay to leaf through our very handy guide to Stonehouse.

Picture 1. This is a very typical type of accommodation in which you will be staying. You may pay per night but most who come to these parts pay by the hour. Very easy to find especially at night as most rooms will be illuminated red for your convenience.

Picture 2. Stonehouse is awash with adult entertainments. If you don't have one of our mini street maps then feel free to stop and ask one of our on street guides for help. We're sure they will give you a hand for a small fee.

Picture 3. The whole area is great for dog walkers but especially the very popular Devils Point. Despite the wonderful views by day, most dog walkers seem to be heading out there after dark. The dog walkers must come from miles around because they all bring their cars. Its so nice up there, we like to just go up at night without our dogs, sit in our car and enjoy the view.

Picture 4. Now this is Stonehouse's top tourist attraction. The Outdoor Street Market. Sellers come from a mile around to sell their shit. You buy everything here (and we mean everything, you just gotta ask the right questions). If you go see Dirty Derek on aisle 7, car boot 4 and show him a copy of this guide, he'll let you have a look in his big brown box that he keeps on the back seat!! The main unit of currency at the market is teenth's and eigth's but some traders will accept pounds and pence. Please note that the market is here whenever it fancies. There are no set rules into its appearance.

Picture5. The main town centre of Union Street is just a stones throw away. Here you will find many bars, restaurants,shops and more of those rent by the hour hotels we were telling you about. Want a cooker for £3.50? No problem. Want a tattoo on your ball bag? No problem.
It's all here.
Please be aware that some of the drinking establishments may or may not be open. It depends on certain landlords bail conditions etc.

Picture 6. Union street is also the party capital of Plymouth. Many many nightclubs to choose from here. When we last checked when we first printed this brochure (1993 edition) there were 26 to choose from. It's probably the same now as the area is thriving.

Picture 7. Here is just a quick snapshot of all the fun you'll be having on your night out. Please make note of the following rules just to stay safe:
Don't look at anyone, don't speak to anyone, don't smile, don't dance without being able to see 360 degrees around you, don't leave your drink, don't eat the food, don't have a piss on your own, look only up and down when having said piss, don't pull out a £20, don't try and dodge the cars, don't talk to the old bill, dont share a taxi, don't go to Flares.
Stick to the rules and you'll have a wonderful night out.

Contact Stonehouse Tourist Department for all your travel queries.

Subject: Re: STD Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:50 pm

Southampton Talk Democratic?

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Mock Cuncher wrote:: Southampton Talk Democratic?

Oh, FFS.

Guest

Frogs Fry Sausages?

Guest

Britains Ocean city lol!

STD