GreenJock's lost American cousin?

Some crazy sorority president at University of Maryland is taking "Greek Week" (a week when frats team up with sororities to see who can donate the most blood/raise the most money for charity/win contests) to the next level.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-most-insane-e-mail-from-a-sorority-girl-you-will-ever-re

Jock's long lost American girl cousin?

Her email to the sorority:

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough feckin ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been feckin UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so feckin AWKWARD and so feckin BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee [redacted], I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to feckin find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying feck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying feck, about how much you feckin love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the feckin year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I feckin repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not feckin possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE feckin NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE feckin SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE feckin SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people feckin retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE feck WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a feck if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do feckin NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

"But [redacted]!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID feckin ASS HATS, IT feckin DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW feckin WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN feckin UP AT SOBER feckin EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being feckin WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not feckin funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. feckin. Team. ARE YOU feckin STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU feckin BLIND? Or are you just so feckin dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE feckin LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR feckin MATCHUP. I will feckin cnut punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a feck if you SOR me, I WILL feckin ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh [redacted], I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.

I'm not feckin kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not feckin awkward than 80 that are feckin faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't feckin show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to feckin God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a feck. Go feck yourself.

Yes I think you are right there Rickler!

Moi?

I don't know what you mean.

I have NO idea what this feking post is about so I THINK I will shut the feking hell UP!

PS was it written by Andy Soper, it seems EVER SO FEKIN ANGRY!!!!!!!!

Didn't mention Postey or Newell Jnr. so no it's not.