Bigfoot

Lord Tisdale wrote:

Mapperley, darling wrote:

my wife has massive feet.

no cock though.

I heard she got plenty when you were not home.

ps. Jock, not "Are you for real ? But rather, are you for real ? It's called subtle humour, unlike the response to Mapperley which is a tad more in your face, you won't have come across it much on here.

I do love the "expert" who can stand up and talk utter blocks while keeping a straight face, unfortunately th'interweb then allows these idiots to pervade their crankism far too widely for my tastes, a fair majority of people being intellectually incapable of sorting the wheat from the chaff, the people I have met who have nailed their colours to some flag pole which has been shoved up their arse by a source you wouldn't trust to go post your pools coupon, but that is today's world, idiots supplying new drivel to the already massively over informed yet still intellectually challenged masses.

Bit of rant there, best go and lie down for a bit.

pps. Certainly the most entertaining thread I have yet seen on ATD.

he says

and i never knew ilkeston and exeter were twinned

So I've been doing more research into Bigfoot and as well as North America and the Yeti in Russia/Central Asia, there is another hominid that there are many sightings and tales of, called the Almas or Almasty as plural.

Almas is the Mongolian word for wild man and there have been sightings and reports of this creature for centuries in parts of Russia, Mongolia, Kazakhstan and Siberia.

The reports vary as in the case with Bigfoot, but basically the Almas is said to be like a throwback to Neanderthal man, who ceased to exist 350,000 years ago. The Almas are hairy, have sloping foreheads with a protruding brow ridge, flat noses and a large protruding jaw. Their feet are much larger than humans, as are their fingers and another distinguishing feature is the foul aroma that is reported when they have been encountered.

Much like a Saturday night clubbing in Exeter by the sounds of it.

Anyway these wildmen are said to weigh up to 500lbs, see above, and can run at a speed of 40mph. They are nomadic and live in holes they make in the earth. They are said to eat small mammals, nuts, vegetables and fruit.

There have been studies made of droppings, hair samples and footprints, which have so far failed to be conclusive.

There is a legend of a female Almas being captured in Georgia in the mid 19th century and kept imprisoned by the village elder at the time. Over the years the Almas, who is said to have been called Zana, was thrown food until it became tame and not afraid of humans. When this happened she was free to roam around the village. Strong as an ox, Zana was also known to outsprint horses on a regular basis and swim fast flowing rivers that humans would never even attempt to.

Zana was eventually given to a nobleman as a prize and he taught her basic commands and she supposedly developed a taste for wine. So much so that once drunk, the nobleman would have sex with her and she fell pregnant several times.

The first offspring died when Zana tried to wash them in the river straight after birth, but subsequent offspring survived when the villagers took them off Zana immediately and nursed them.

These offspring lived in the village and were a hybrid of human/Almas but resembling humans slightly more. The children grew up and were taught many skills and were treated exactly like human children, but there were differences like the sloping forehead and they were dark. These children were amazingly strong and one report says that a child was able to lift a man sat in a chair clean off the ground using his jaw!

These offspring went on to breed with other humans and there are descendants all over the area to this day. One child's bones were found and examined years after his death and the skull did resemble that of a Neanderthal crossed with a human skull.

Unfortunately the whereabouts of Zana's burial place has never been found.

This is a sketch of Zana which was drawn in the late 19th century:


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The mere fact that so many reports of this type of man/ape creature over such a long space of time, centuries and centuries, and over such a range of countries, Kazakhstan, Siberia, Mongolia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Tajikistan and even areas of China does make for interesting reading. The names may change from one country to the next but the descriptions of these wildmen is almost exactly the same.

Some of the regions where these tales come from are even today quite primative and inhospitable in the terrain so the research that has been undertaken by scientists is still minimal.

I would be more inclined to believe these stories than many of the Bigfoot reports, but I do still have an open mind on both.

To be continued................

A brief summary of the Almas is contained here if anyone is interested. There is also links to other mysterious creatures and phenomena:

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Have you found any information on pasotificus extinctus? There are claims that they were victimised Aytedee rantus. The latter was a very small creature compared to pasotificus but was incredibly fierce.

There are lots of people who claim to have evidence of their existence but I personally doubt it.

Wow.

knecht wrote:

Have you found any information on pasotificus extinctus? There are claims that they were victimised Aytedee rantus. The latter was a very small creature compared to pasotificus but was incredibly fierce.

There are lots of people who claim to have evidence of their existence but I personally doubt it.

There is no doubt that these creatures existed, but how fierce Aytedee rantus was is up for debate. Some reports say it was like an annoying little dog humping your leg and others say that it took on the mighty pasotificus extinctus, or Big Gay Bear, and was the reason it became exctinctus.

The pasotificus was said to have a very deep throaty roar, where the Aytedee rantus, although smaller, had a much louder ROOOOOAAAARRRRR. The pasotificus was a master of disguise, a bit like a chameleon, and was able to trick other animals into thinking it was a friendlier animal. This tactic enabled it to carry out attacks on the other animals, most commonly the Trustus boardus, in the hope of wiping it out. This was denied by historians and scientists for years but eventually they did concede that this tactic was used a very, very long time ago and would not happen again if the pasotificus was to be found today.

These scientists and historians do keep an extremely close eye out for Aytedee rantus and want to know everything about them such as where they lived and where their ancestors lived. The scientists and historians have made contact with some Aytedee rantus, but they deny all knowledge of this communication.

The two creatures did have a lot in common really, they liked the same recreations, although the pasotificus was indeed extremely sneaky and would turn on its own in order to gain a higher position in the pecking order. They lived in the same neck of the woods, but the Aytedee mainly stayed in the cherry tree while the pasotificus loved to eat pastys and drink beer in a strange tree called fanfestius, which is where most of it's bad habits and sneaky behaviour was allowed.

There are a few people who are convinced that the two creatures could co-exist together, but the stricter lifestyle of the pasotificus, with two leaders in the pack, known as porkus matey and the bearded president, was in such stark contrast to the Aytedee rantus which was a freer spirit and allowed other animals like the lesser spotted swearing jockle and the mocking cuncher bird to roam with them.

I might cover these creatures in more detail at a later date, but for now I have decided to concentrate my studies on other things and will only return to studying them in exceptional circumstances. Personally I would rather the two faded from my memory, or at least the tales of fighting between the two faded into a distant memory.

I am going to concentrate on the Yeti in the immediate future before possibly moving onto UFO's.

Czarcasm wrote:

Wow.

This is a downside to researching Bigfoot, there are so many hoaxes like this that it takes a long time to wade through all the footage to find genuine sightings or credible witnesses like Bobo who I mentioned in my first post.

Hoaxes? HOAXES?

Some of them are really quite funny. Pretty much poor versions of Dom Joly dressed in a gorrilla suit in Trigger Happy TV.

Talking of Dom Joly, did you see the fat cnut fcuk his dive right up in your favourite programme, Splash?

Czarcasm wrote:

Hoaxes? HOAXES?

Some of them are really quite funny. Pretty much poor versions of Dom Joly dressed in a gorrilla suit in Trigger Happy TV.

Talking of Jom Joly, did you see the fat cnut fcuk his dive right up in your favourite programme, Splash?

Bollocks I forgot it was on again. I was trying to see if the gloss finish I had applied to the walls was still sticky to the touch.

I have it on good authority that all of these sightings have co-incided with Scottish football supporters invading Countries when the national team has been playing. They have become detatched from the invading hoardes through drinking the local alcoholic brew and being lost in the wilds. This explains the sighting being mainly of single beasts and them wandering about in the woods. Check out the fixtures and the sightings and I'm sure there would be a connection.

Sensiblegreeny wrote:

I have it on good authority that all of these sightings have co-incided with Scottish football supporters invading Countries when the national team has been playing. They have become detatched from the invading hoardes through drinking the local alcoholic brew and being lost in the wilds. This explains the sighting being mainly of single beasts and them wandering about in the woods. Check out the fixtures and the sightings and I'm sure there would be a connection.

Sasquatch is an old Gaelic word meaning "He who's had one too many"

See Jock I knew it was right because somebody called Aaron told me it was. He never lies or so he told me anyway.

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Sensiblegreeny wrote:

See Jock I knew it was right because somebody called Aaron told me it was. He never lies or so he told me anyway.

I suppose you have to let the missus choose one of your kids names. I'm guessing your others all had strong men's names like Frank or Reggie and Ronnie? Mind you Sylvester and Arnold are hardly names that sound manly so Aaron might be far more Butch than it sounds

If I was looking to name any Bigfoot I saw I think I would go with Kurt or Ray, except there's a Scottish footballer called Kirk Broadfoot which is too similar to Kurt Bigfoot so I might have to rethink that one.

Aaron means "lofty mountaineer" Which is a relatively "Butch" derivation given it is about mountains and all. I know the singing Nun climbed every mountain but she was a one off. I have one called Ken but she's never spoken to me since she saw the birth certificate. What my wife calls them could not possibly be printed.

Greenjock wrote:

Sensiblegreeny wrote:

See Jock I knew it was right because somebody called Aaron told me it was. He never lies or so he told me anyway.

I suppose you have to let the missus choose one of your kids names. I'm guessing your others all had strong men's names like Frank or Reggie and Ronnie? Mind you Sylvester and Arnold are hardly names that sound manly so Aaron might be far more Butch than it sounds

If I was looking to name any Bigfoot I saw I think I would go with Kurt or Ray, except there's a Scottish footballer called Kirk Broadfoot which is too similar to Kurt Bigfoot so I might have to rethink that one.

Jock......don't you find it worrying that sensibles son is called HAIRY...........must be a reason ???

Some people are not taking this thread seriously so instead of moving on to the Yeti, fascinating as it is, I'm going to stick closer to home with my next subject, the unexplained big cats sighted in the UK.

The beast of Bodmin Moor, Exmoor and Dartmoor are all frequently reported and maybe the fact that these creatures are more local to the majority on this site might grab your attention.

This first clip is of a very big cat captured on film by a Naval officer in Scotland.



And moving closer to home, this famous footage of a big cat in Stroud.



I will research the big cats in the UK for you all next, but just wanted to end the Bigfoot issue with this piece of footage showing a photograph of something that I believe could be a Bigfoot, or a bear!

GJ I know I promised to stay on subject but I have a suggestion to put to good use your undoubted talents for digging up fascinating data what about the often overlooked subject of alien abduction there are numerous reports of this particularly in the USA. Perhaps if you dig deep enough you could even arrange such things for a few people of your choosing.

Happy Daze wrote:

GJ I know I promised to stay on subject but I have a suggestion to put to good use your undoubted talents for digging up fascinating data what about the often overlooked subject of alien abduction there are numerous reports of this particularly in the USA. Perhaps if you dig deep enough you could even arrange such things for a few people of your choosing.

I will almost certainly be covering aliens and alien abductions further down the line so stay tuned!

This is a huge planet and there are so many unexplained things out there that it would be unfair of me not to give all the mysteries my full attention and I have a feeling that aliens will be a subject that will require plenty of research

I had a brother whose nickname used to be "Alien". It was all down to a misunderstanding.

Jock your Argyle scandal-talk holiday has been badly timed. Webbs outing as a Deepthroater would have given you many many 10,000 word post opportunities.

Your resilience is admirable, mind.

For twelve months I remained convinced that I saw two UFO's. It was just after 10pm in October or November sometime and I was parking up outside my house when I saw two bright lights high in the sky, one following the other and both silent. The first one suddenly stopped and then picked up enormous speed and vanished out into space. When the second one that was following reached the same position as the first it also stopped and suddenly at enormous speed vanished out into space. Two neighbors also saw what had happened and we were all mystified.

do be do be do be do be

If we're being serious here, no I mean reeeeeeally deadly serious, there are a shitload of things that have happened in my house that I simply cannot explain - and I'm about as ghost-sceptic as anyone could possibly get.

I guess I'll wait until Jocks Big Cat series is done, and Poltergeists are the topic.

Czarcasm wrote:

If we're being serious here, no I mean reeeeeeally deadly serious, there are a shitload of things that have happened in my house that I simply cannot explain - and I'm about as ghost-sceptic as anyone could possibly get.

I guess I'll wait until Jocks Big Cat series is done, and Poltergeists are the topic.

Now that sounds interesting. I'm not sure I believe in any of that but it interest me, I have had a few strange things crop up at my place as well.

The UFO's BTW were those Chinese lantern things. Somebody somewhere must have lit two, one after the other. When the first one went out it gave the impression that it zoomed off into space and then the second one done exactly the same thing.

I didn't suss it until recently when I saw one do the same thing but it was much lower in the sky. Funny how things can convince us though.

Talking of Poltergeists I am convinced there is one in this house how else can I explain the disaperence of my pen? no matter how many I buy I can never find one.

Somewhere there is a huge warehouse full of part used ball point pens so I ask you have you ever had one that has run out? I am not talking about the one that leaks in your shirt pocket though

I had better stop now otherwise I will be getting it in the neck from GJ for highjacking his thread again