Things that grip yer sh*t.

Most of mine are golf related.

1) Golfing 4balls. Especially when all of them insist on 6 practice swings before topping the ball 20 yds in to the lake.

2) Knobbers who insist on marking their score on the green, when I'm waiting to play my approach shot.

3) Women of a certain age who posess the sporting prowess of Dawn French, but still think it's a good idea to take up golf, and usually seem to end up in the group in front of me.

4) 4balls who refuse to call you through, even though there are 3 clear holes in front of them.

5) Tossers who don't replace their divots.

6) Wankers who don't repair their pitchmarks.

I'm sure there are many more too....

Czarcasm wrote:

Most of mine are golf related.

1) Golfing 4balls. Especially when all of them insist on 6 practice swings before topping the ball 20 yds in to the lake.

2) Knobbers who insist on marking their score on the green, when I'm waiting to play my approach shot.

3) Women of a certain age who posess the sporting prowess of Dawn French, but still think it's a good idea to take up golf, and usually seem to end up in the group in front of me.

4) 4balls who refuse to call you through, even though there are 3 clear holes in front of them.

5) Tossers who don't replace their divots.

6) Wankers who don't repair their pitchmarks.

I'm sure there are many more too....

Re 4) just whack one over their heads and shout ,' Coming through!'

DIY freaks who don't do feck all DIY all day but start banging, drilling and feck knows what when you walk in the door after a shitty day in work.

Shit drivers that never use indicators. What am I? A fecking clairvoyant? Prick!

People who work on the tills in a shop who try to start off shit, dull, meaningless bollocks of a conversation. STFU, don't fecking talk to me. Just put my new dildo in my bag FFS.

Mock Cuncher wrote:

Chingers wrote:

I'm allergic to latex and although the use of it is massively down in hospitals it is still used in small amount (apparently, according to the consultant). So on operation day I was first on the list and back in the ward by 8.45am. Home by 3pm after a general. Lovely.

A lotta kids I recks.

Just the four. Snip Snip

People that tell me everytime I say I have four kids saying either;

You having a more?
You getting the snip?

No to both. Being married and having four children is all the contraceptive I need thanks.

Things that grip my shit:

1) Argyle

2) Life in general.

That is all. Thank you.

People get on my tits.

If it is general moans... FECKING Morris Dancers!

Where do I start

Lazy wankers at work who do virtually nothing at all for an entire day and then, when three o'clock arrives, they're asked to do something by someone and they respond by saying - "I'm really snowed under". NO. YOU. ARE. feckin. NOT.

Children between the ages of 10 and 16 - all of them. People say it's a minority. It isn't, they're all complete arseholes.

Yep I remember you between those ages so have to agree. Some never improve either which is a shame.

Motorists in general. Either moving or parking on pavements.

Golf players.

Plastic football fans.

People who moan about Pasoti all the time.

Dog owners in general who all tell you their's won't hurt you. It's a fecking wolf in disguise of course it might.

Seagulls on the barbican when I have a pasty in my hand.

People who feed the feckin things and encourage them.

HMRC whether it's the customs bit or the tax collection bit. No personality at all any of them.

I will go as far as to say the more people I meet the more I like my dog

Sensiblegreeny wrote:

Yep I remember you between those ages so have to agree. Some never improve either which is a shame.

Motorists in general. Either moving or parking on pavements.

Golf players.

Plastic football fans.

People who moan about Pasoti all the time.

Dog owners in general who all tell you their's won't hurt you. It's a fecking wolf in disguise of course it might.

Seagulls on the barbican when I have a pasty in my hand.

People who feed the feckin things and encourage them.

HMRC whether it's the customs bit or the tax collection bit. No personality at all any of them.

Old people.