Cricket thread just for Cerbera

Oh God I hate bloody cricket boring boring ( there I have said it and feel better)

And the bloody one glove brigade golf what waste of farmland that is --- I am going to sit back now and wait for the abuse that is coming my way

Abuse Grumpy????

You should be beatified mate!

Shall I put you both down as a maybe then?

Greenjock wrote:

Shall I put you both down as a maybe then?

Love it

We'll be in the pub.

At the cricket you can drink as much as you want while watching the game

In the pub you can drink as much as you want without having to watch the game!

Cerbera wrote:

In the pub you can drink as much as you want without having to watch the game!

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Hilarious ! Even if you've heard it before.

Tringreen wrote:

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Hilarious ! Even if you've heard it before.

Shewroteuponit addressunknown ba dop ba dop ba dop

So the ginger from Yorkshire gets the nod in the absence of Bopara. Saw him biff the Injuns about at Cardiff ast year when it looked like we were struggling. Not sure I'd want him facing the Saffers later on in the summer, though. Not sure I'd want many of our batsmen doing that, mind.

Then it's a shout between Finn, Onions and Bresnan for the last spot.

I'd plump for Onions. I really liked him pre-injuries and he's on fire this summer too. Can't really go wrong with any of the three though!

Mock Cuncher wrote:

So the ginger from Yorkshire gets the nod in the absence of Bopara. Saw him biff the Injuns about at Cardiff ast year when it looked like we were struggling. Not sure I'd want him facing the Saffers later on in the summer, though. Not sure I'd want many of our batsmen doing that, mind.

Then it's a shout between Finn, Onions and Bresnan for the last spot.

I'd plump for Onions. I really liked him pre-injuries and he's on fire this summer too. Can't really go wrong with any of the three though!

I like Finn. Hit the ground running at test level and he can bowl consistently at 90mph.

Windies series starts tomorrow and I did think that they could surprise England a bit because they've improved no end, but once again their preparation has been akin to a pub teams and the weather is iffy enough for it to swing around so I think England will cane them now.

Greenjock wrote:

Mock Cuncher wrote:

So the ginger from Yorkshire gets the nod in the absence of Bopara. Saw him biff the Injuns about at Cardiff ast year when it looked like we were struggling. Not sure I'd want him facing the Saffers later on in the summer, though. Not sure I'd want many of our batsmen doing that, mind.

Then it's a shout between Finn, Onions and Bresnan for the last spot.

I'd plump for Onions. I really liked him pre-injuries and he's on fire this summer too. Can't really go wrong with any of the three though!

I like Finn. Hit the ground running at test level and he can bowl consistently at 90mph.

Windies series starts tomorrow and I did think that they could surprise England a bit because they've improved no end, but once again their preparation has been akin to a pub teams and the weather is iffy enough for it to swing around so I think England will cane them now.

Can you translate that for me Jock?

Onions on fire and hitting the ground running at 90mph?

Weather swinging around and England caning?

Cricket explained just for Cerbs


The Rules of Cricket
as Explained to a foreign visitor

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in, goes out, and when he's out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When both sides have been in and out including the not-outs, that's the end of the game.

Howzat?

Duh!

I know that!

Where do the Onions go? Does Jamie Oliver play cricket now?

Won the toss and bowl. Seems like the best decision as it looks like it'll swing a bit. Bresnan in over Onions and Finn a reflection of that.

Wish I was there! Although would probably be at the bar already...

Good toss to win as it's cloudy. Would rather have seen Finn on his home ground, and he's never put a foot wrong for England. He's the youngest English bowler to reach 50 wickets, but Bresnan should swing it and is a decent lower order batsman.

My prediction is 60 for 4 at lunch.

Great ball from Anderson to dismiss Powell.

Second wicket wasn't too shabby either. I liked the way Edwards looked at Barath to see if it was worth reviewing it About as plumb as you can get. Not like these ridiculous appeals by Glen McGrath. Luckily there was a good unbiased Pakistani umpire to ensure fair play.

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Bresnan's a donkey!

I think I am right in saying that Javed Miandad played in 124 Test matches and batted 189 times. I don't think he was ever dismissed LBW in Pakistan by a Pakistani umpire. So not only must he have been very good at getting line he also had unerring judgement and wonderful hand to eye coordination.

No wonder Mike Gatting went beserk at Shakoor Rana

Jock, serious question:

I'm watching Sky News and there's a thing (Hawkeye?) showing the trajectory of the ball. In this instance:

Original decision: Not Out

Wickets: Hitting

Impact: In line

Pitching: Outside off

Now I don't know who that is a review of, who's wicket, but what does it mean if the team request a review?

If I'm reading the above correctly, the umpire in the field gave N.O. to an LBW appeal, and Hawkeye is saying out?

How many appeals does the bowling team have?


Sorry. more than one question there.

Cerbera wrote:

Jock, serious question:

I'm watching Sky News and there's a thing (Hawkeye?) showing the trajectory of the ball. In this instance:

Original decision: Not Out

Wickets: Hitting

Impact: In line

Pitching: Outside off

Now I don't know who that is a review of, who's wicket, but what does it mean if the team request a review?

If I'm reading the above correctly, the umpire in the field gave N.O. to an LBW appeal, and Hawkeye is saying out?

How many appeals does the bowling team have?


Sorry. more than one question there.

Both sides have 3 reviews each innings, so if a batsman is given out and thinks he shouldn't be, then he can ask for a review as well. If the review is inconclusive, or hawkeye shows an LBW decision is just clipping the stumps, it goes back to the original umpires call.

If you ask for a review and you were right, then you don't lose a review.

If the ball pitches outside the off stump it can still be given out, as long as the ball hits the pad inside the line of the stumps. If a batsman gets his pad out wider than the line of the stumps and it hits him, he can't be out.

You have to ask for a review within 15 seconds I think, so that you don't have the chance to see a replay and make your mind up.

The example you used should have been given out on review, unless replays show it was a no-ball, which happened to Stuart Broad today.

Cheers mate!



163-9 as expected today? Good day at the office for England then?